Why Hello There :]

ehh... do not let the title fool you, for this is not a happy blog post. God i feel like i can't get close to Dylan for i'll only want to be closer? So i just say mean things and get upset, but i really don't mean it. i guess it's a defense? i want to be his friend, i truely do, but how can i settle for that when whenever it's 11:11 [and every other double number time] i wish for Dylan and i to get back together. it's pathetic i know... but can he really just not like me back? not even a little bit? And then there is Moe...or Morris.....to keep it short, Lexi fustrates me. i mean she couldn't just have Darian but now she's flirting with Moe, it's like geez woman! Leave my crushes alone. that sounds rahter pissy, but i can just never win! this sucks. but with Moe, i just want to rebound with him? i mean he really is a neato guy, but i think i want more of a physical thing? hahahaha i just wannna hit that, sex buddies! yay? i don't know... i have to keep myself busy, because if i don't i'm left alone with my thoughts, and i get sad. and today, it was weird. i hate liking Dylan, and him just being so blazey about it all....GRRR! it's the unrequited love that kills it's victoms, for we're just left alone with thoughts taht give us false hope. it is rather pathetic. really.... and i only will admit this to this blog, for the people i know can never read this one. Because i plan on NOT censoring what i have to say. Mena had Ciaran, so i can't just get out all my fustration on her, becuase then that would make Ciaran look like a bad boyfriend. I really just need someone that has boyfirend potental. Really, i'm just a sad girl. hahahahaha God i make myself sound so awful. i just really need a boyfriend.hahahahahahaha or i just need to have sex with a stranger, like in Forgeting Sarah Marshal. hahahahahhahahaha

...Maybe becuase you broke my heart into a million peices, my cock doesn't want
to be around you!

But dang anyway i don't know man.... i feel yucky. like BLEH yucky : /